213 years since the birthday of Russian national hero, Alexandr Sergeyevich Pushkin.
Hence listening to his poetry in loop in the office.
Hence listening to his poetry in loop in the office.
keskiviikko 6. kesäkuuta 2012
keskiviikko 4. huhtikuuta 2012
when my work is done
tomorrow is the last day of our course in Tver. (obviously i'm not counting сессия.) Today i had my CEES presentation and almost died of happiness. (this is not, however, how i felt last night at 5am when i realised i wouldn't be able to include any of the graphs i'd made in my powerpoint presentation.)
feeling .... extremely tired
feeling .... extremely tired
perjantai 23. maaliskuuta 2012
Студвесна
i have made my peace with russia. i am happy and i'm seriously starting to think about moving here "at some point". Ура for socialising and violins and the history department ! i don't care if people are incapable of organising anything or keep changing their plans - in the end все будет хорошо :)
maanantai 19. maaliskuuta 2012
progress check
I had the pleasure to be acquainted with a certain gentleman in St.Petersburg. He found my accent incredibly funny and kept making fun of my pronunciation and repeating everything I said with a "Finnish" accent for two days straight. When I was leaving the city, he pondered: "In fact, your vocabulary in Russian isn't that good. Maybe you can study a bit more so when we meet again you'll understand everything I say."
sunnuntai 11. maaliskuuta 2012
keskiviikko 7. maaliskuuta 2012
survived Siberia
Dear friends. It is my pleasure to declare yet another new beginning to life in Russia! As much as I was frightened by the one-way flight to Irkutsk with Utair Airlines I ended up having amazing 10 days in Siberia. Not as bad as they say, first of all. The nature around lake Baikal is more or less similar to Central Finalnd. Nothing to be afraid of. It didn't even get colder than -20.
Overwhelming Russian hospitality in Irkutsk, people smiling and being content about their lives (?!), amazing 2,5 days on a train through Siberia, meeting interesting people. A Женя even inspired me to write my essay. I like hanging out with construction workers. They seem so ... unspoilt my the Western influences unlike the educated masses of Moscow and St.Petersburg.
Spent a sunny election Sunday in Ekaterinbúrg and a grey Monday on a train. I was overjoyed to be back in Tver though. It's spring, no wonder because the чучила was burnt over a week ago already.
Now I'm dreaming of a journey to Tyumen', Krasnojarsk (the importance of being Evgeny), the Buryat lands ...
Overwhelming Russian hospitality in Irkutsk, people smiling and being content about their lives (?!), amazing 2,5 days on a train through Siberia, meeting interesting people. A Женя even inspired me to write my essay. I like hanging out with construction workers. They seem so ... unspoilt my the Western influences unlike the educated masses of Moscow and St.Petersburg.
Spent a sunny election Sunday in Ekaterinbúrg and a grey Monday on a train. I was overjoyed to be back in Tver though. It's spring, no wonder because the чучила was burnt over a week ago already.
Now I'm dreaming of a journey to Tyumen', Krasnojarsk (the importance of being Evgeny), the Buryat lands ...
torstai 23. helmikuuta 2012
CEES honours guide - exciting times
Because it's Russia, you can receive a phone call in the morning telling you that all your classes for the day are cancelled. So I decided to check my university e-mail and found a pleasant surprise: CEES honours guide for 2012-2013!
I love CEES. I could be happy to attend all the lectures they're running next year. But fuck it unfortunately I need to choose between interesting and extremely interesting. In addition, if I will be in Poland during Semester 2, I will in fact miss all the courses focusing on the transition period. So many courses, so little time...
Meanwhile: getting ready for Lake Baikal and haf-a-Trans-Siberian
I indirectly turned down the job offer for the Nordic Ministry Council in Petrozavodsk. Haven' heard back from CIMO, I'm afraid that might have been the first and the last offer I got from them. But I'm not as bothered as I could be - aftet all, всё будет хорошо and I have firmly decided to выбирать свою судьбу and not settle for anything less that St.Petersburg. There is судьба and there is free will
I love CEES. I could be happy to attend all the lectures they're running next year. But fuck it unfortunately I need to choose between interesting and extremely interesting. In addition, if I will be in Poland during Semester 2, I will in fact miss all the courses focusing on the transition period. So many courses, so little time...
Meanwhile: getting ready for Lake Baikal and haf-a-Trans-Siberian
I indirectly turned down the job offer for the Nordic Ministry Council in Petrozavodsk. Haven' heard back from CIMO, I'm afraid that might have been the first and the last offer I got from them. But I'm not as bothered as I could be - aftet all, всё будет хорошо and I have firmly decided to выбирать свою судьбу and not settle for anything less that St.Petersburg. There is судьба and there is free will
Hyvää isänmaan puolustajien päivää!
I think it's fair to say I enjoy living in Russia. However, there's still one thing that annoys me more than words can express: the incapability of planning meetings.
tiistai 14. helmikuuta 2012
truly impressed
I met a 23-year-old electrical engineer from St.Petersburg. I was surprised when he told me he wanted to go to the theatre (voluntarily! alone!) here in Tver'. When we met after the theatre he told me the play he went to see (a 19th-century Russian classic by Ostrovsky) was "really cool" ("крутой").
:'))))
:'))))
tiistai 7. helmikuuta 2012
identity crisis
Yesterday i realised i don't actually like Russian very much. i don't like speaking Russian as i enjoy speaking finnish, slovak or polish. and i don't like the way other people speak russian either, even natives. hm.
torstai 2. helmikuuta 2012
ripseni jäätyivät (en enää käytä maskaraa)
I have successfully applied to CIMO's trainee programme for the summer. If everything goes as planned, I don't have to stress about anything and I can devote my time in Tver doing what I like: playing lots of violin and piano, going to the theatre and daydreaming with Alice about St.Petersburg
sunnuntai 29. tammikuuta 2012
с хуля ли
i have solved the mystery.
do you remember what Sasha taught the Finns in Tapki hostel St.Petersburg December 2008?
" с хуля ли "
finally i have managed to translate this phrase
(but only into finnish at this stage)
"vitustako vai"
basically, the phrase expresses an activity that happens without an acceptable reason.
"for fuck's sake?" "(is it really) for fuck's sake (that)"
do you remember what Sasha taught the Finns in Tapki hostel St.Petersburg December 2008?
" с хуля ли "
finally i have managed to translate this phrase
(but only into finnish at this stage)
"vitustako vai"
basically, the phrase expresses an activity that happens without an acceptable reason.
"for fuck's sake?" "(is it really) for fuck's sake (that)"
sunnuntai 22. tammikuuta 2012
Tver is growing into me
I have decided to give up most of my ambitious travel plans for now and concentrate on embracing life in Tver. It might be the consequence of the Epiphany rebirth. In fact, I really like it here. I've got some good people around me, meaningful things to do and a crowd of people playing guitar and singing Russian songs upstairs. I would even go as far as to say I am happy, here and now.
Накануне has ended, hooray !
Накануне has ended, hooray !
tiistai 17. tammikuuta 2012
Finnish melancholy vs. Russian melancholy
Fair enough, Finns are known for being melancholic and depressed. We all know what the suicide rates look like, we are aware of the infamous school shootings as well as the incredibly high level of domestic violence. The promised land of metal music and people, who wander around the woods silently, and alone.
However, the standard of living in Finland is exceptionally high. Most people trust in the motherly care of the Nordic welfare state, and do not worry about the future. After all, as we say, being born in Finland is like winning the lottery. Politically, economically and socially we live in a better society than 99% of the world's population. In fact, our well-being is not threatened by anything.
Personally, I believe I belong to the minority of Finns who can claim to be truly happy.
However, an unexpected battle of minds more likely to be depressed, I definitely beat my Russian friend, who, let's face it, has a lot more reason to be depressed that myself.
This is how it happened.
Feel the cold hand of melancholy take over my poor soul.
First, we were talking about how we'd spent the holidays.
I told my friend that I had a lovely time in Helsinki, adding, that there were lots of Russian tourists around.
My friend told be he'd just read somewhere that the Russian tourists' holiday spending in Finland amounts to 40% of the state's budget.
Then, we were talking about our future plans.
I said I might want to work for the European Union.
My friend was confused why I would like to work in an institution that's about to collapse.
I explained to him the euro zone crisis doesn't necessarily mean a crisis for the Union's existence.
I told him I had faith in the European co-operation.
He was impressed by this and said, that in Russia the state is too busy giving out money to other regions in the world, neglecting its own citizens.
He said this to be a reminisce of the Soviet era.
Yes, I agreed, in Finland most people disapprove financing Greece after the series of economic blows.
After that we were talking a bit about the euro zone crisis.
I, determined to return to the original topic, asked my friend about his future plans.
He said he would perhaps like to work for the city administration, but that he had no chance of being employed without connections. Which he did not have.
We talked about the elections, but my friend said he does not really believe in political change because corruption would nevertheless remain the country's biggest issue.
He came to the conclusion that Russians are so thoroughly corrupted they are inevitably born that way.
He said as a child he was told they were the strongest and kindest nation in the world, but he could not understand how could such a great nation treat its subjects as slaves.
He said no-one foreign could understand their mentality.
He said he almost envied me for all the opportunities I had in life, not being chained to a pseudo-world superpower that did nothing for its people.
After that we talked about films and listened to some very melancholic music.
In my mind I didn't feel only incredibly heavy and hopeless, but also unbelievably ashamed of my own well-being. I felt sick thinking about my own mission to come as a young idealist to study Russia and understand its people. We were inevitably different, I concluded. Apart from the upcoming end of the world, the images of the third world war, various environmental catastrophes, the last judgement and the next big terrorist attack I was thinking about the poor Russian pensioners, students, the normal workers who had to slave away day after day, watching their country becoming worse every day, having to face the endless disappointments, betrayed by their leaders,
I was thinking about my friend and the hell he had to live in and I was so struck by melancholy I couldn't say anything for a long while.
I told my friend I was feeling a bit low.
He was surprised.
He did not realise I was upset, nor did he understand why I was upset.
He wanted to cheer me up and reminded me of all the good things in Finland: the social security network, the living standards, the free speech.
He said I should follow the Russians' example and, simply, not think about sad things.
He did not understand when I said I found talking about the problems of the Russian society highly enjoyable.
He apologised for having made me sad.
I said it was OK.
Having carefully studied the course of the conversation described above, I have come to the following conclusion:
1. Both Finns and Russians have a tendency for melancholy, worrying and depression.
2. Russians have far more reasons to be melancholic, worried and depressed.
3. However, the Russian melancholy can be overcome by irony, collectivisation or "just-like-that".
4. The Finnish melancholy is an extremely destructive force, impossible to control and can easily take over the individual's life completely.
5. Joking about Russian melancholy is possible and diminishes its power; joking about Finnish melancholy is impossible and it is the melancholy-born agony that drives people to horrible deeds (such as ending one's own or someone else's life)
+ For Russians, the lack of material well-being and the country's élite is blamed for the citizens melancholy
+ For Finns, melancholy appears as an invincible destructive force despite the material well-being and the wonderful democratic welfare state
However, the standard of living in Finland is exceptionally high. Most people trust in the motherly care of the Nordic welfare state, and do not worry about the future. After all, as we say, being born in Finland is like winning the lottery. Politically, economically and socially we live in a better society than 99% of the world's population. In fact, our well-being is not threatened by anything.
Personally, I believe I belong to the minority of Finns who can claim to be truly happy.
However, an unexpected battle of minds more likely to be depressed, I definitely beat my Russian friend, who, let's face it, has a lot more reason to be depressed that myself.
This is how it happened.
Feel the cold hand of melancholy take over my poor soul.
First, we were talking about how we'd spent the holidays.
I told my friend that I had a lovely time in Helsinki, adding, that there were lots of Russian tourists around.
My friend told be he'd just read somewhere that the Russian tourists' holiday spending in Finland amounts to 40% of the state's budget.
Then, we were talking about our future plans.
I said I might want to work for the European Union.
My friend was confused why I would like to work in an institution that's about to collapse.
I explained to him the euro zone crisis doesn't necessarily mean a crisis for the Union's existence.
I told him I had faith in the European co-operation.
He was impressed by this and said, that in Russia the state is too busy giving out money to other regions in the world, neglecting its own citizens.
He said this to be a reminisce of the Soviet era.
Yes, I agreed, in Finland most people disapprove financing Greece after the series of economic blows.
After that we were talking a bit about the euro zone crisis.
I, determined to return to the original topic, asked my friend about his future plans.
He said he would perhaps like to work for the city administration, but that he had no chance of being employed without connections. Which he did not have.
We talked about the elections, but my friend said he does not really believe in political change because corruption would nevertheless remain the country's biggest issue.
He came to the conclusion that Russians are so thoroughly corrupted they are inevitably born that way.
He said as a child he was told they were the strongest and kindest nation in the world, but he could not understand how could such a great nation treat its subjects as slaves.
He said no-one foreign could understand their mentality.
He said he almost envied me for all the opportunities I had in life, not being chained to a pseudo-world superpower that did nothing for its people.
After that we talked about films and listened to some very melancholic music.
In my mind I didn't feel only incredibly heavy and hopeless, but also unbelievably ashamed of my own well-being. I felt sick thinking about my own mission to come as a young idealist to study Russia and understand its people. We were inevitably different, I concluded. Apart from the upcoming end of the world, the images of the third world war, various environmental catastrophes, the last judgement and the next big terrorist attack I was thinking about the poor Russian pensioners, students, the normal workers who had to slave away day after day, watching their country becoming worse every day, having to face the endless disappointments, betrayed by their leaders,
I was thinking about my friend and the hell he had to live in and I was so struck by melancholy I couldn't say anything for a long while.
I told my friend I was feeling a bit low.
He was surprised.
He did not realise I was upset, nor did he understand why I was upset.
He wanted to cheer me up and reminded me of all the good things in Finland: the social security network, the living standards, the free speech.
He said I should follow the Russians' example and, simply, not think about sad things.
He did not understand when I said I found talking about the problems of the Russian society highly enjoyable.
He apologised for having made me sad.
I said it was OK.
Having carefully studied the course of the conversation described above, I have come to the following conclusion:
1. Both Finns and Russians have a tendency for melancholy, worrying and depression.
2. Russians have far more reasons to be melancholic, worried and depressed.
3. However, the Russian melancholy can be overcome by irony, collectivisation or "just-like-that".
4. The Finnish melancholy is an extremely destructive force, impossible to control and can easily take over the individual's life completely.
5. Joking about Russian melancholy is possible and diminishes its power; joking about Finnish melancholy is impossible and it is the melancholy-born agony that drives people to horrible deeds (such as ending one's own or someone else's life)
+ For Russians, the lack of material well-being and the country's élite is blamed for the citizens melancholy
+ For Finns, melancholy appears as an invincible destructive force despite the material well-being and the wonderful democratic welfare state
sunnuntai 1. tammikuuta 2012
С Новым годом! С новым счастьем!
Lately, I have been thinking about how passive i've been blogging. But now, dear friends, it's time to change the course of my sorry life ! After all, it's a brand new year, new beginning, new luck and all that jazz. To prove my point I'd like to share my new year's resolutions with you
1. B etom godu, poka v Rossii, ya postarayus' pisat', chitat' i imenno govorit' na russkom. Xvatit finskogo i angliskogo! Budu xorosho zanimat'sya, i nye tol'ko na zanyatiyax no i na ulici. Xochu ponimat' russkoj dushi. Yesterday was a great beginning for this. i didn't end up in st.petersburg by accident now did i !
2. 2012 - a light year. i need to chill. the tensions i have carried on my back for the last months have stayed in 2011. i will no longer consider my life a failure although i am not entirely happy every day. time to flow and follow your intuition and just, well, smile more :) even though it's russia and people will think i'm mental
3. i will start to keep a track of my dreams. attempt of a dream diary vol.15 (and maybe write more in general)
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